The New York Times

纽约时报

Eileen Gu is only 18. Born and raised in California, Gu competes for her mother’s native China, where she hopes to win three gold medals: in halfpipe（U形场地）, slopestyle （坡面障碍技巧）and big air（大跳台）.

谷爱凌（Eileen Gu）只有18岁。出生和成长于加利福尼亚（California）的她，为母亲的祖国中国出征，有望在北京拿下自由式滑雪U型场地技巧赛、坡面障碍技巧赛和女子大跳台的三枚金牌。

Gu’s relationship to fear is evolving（变化的）. She thinks about it a lot. She keeps a diary, and some of her handwritten entries, she said, are devoted to the subject of fear, in all its forms.

谷爱凌与恐惧的关系是不断变化的。她总会想到恐惧。她习惯写日记，她说，自己手写下的一些主题就是关于各种形式的恐惧。

At the request of The New York Times, Gu wrote down her thoughts on fear — how she views it, how she manages it, how she hopes to conquer it.

在纽约时报的的请求下，谷爱凌写下了她对恐惧的思考—她如何看待恐惧，她如何爱上恐惧，她是如何希望战胜恐惧。（本段小编翻译）

Essay by Eileen Gu（谷爱凌）

FOR THE LAST 10 OF MY 18 YEARS, I’ve pursued a tumultuous（动荡不安的，热烈的） love affair with fear. I’m a professional freeskier, and twin-tipped skis, 22-foot halfpipes and double-cork rotations are my main sources of adrenaline（肾上腺素）, the truly addictive （上瘾的，入迷的）core of extreme sports.

在我18年人生中的后10年，我都与恐惧进行了一场动荡不安的恋爱。我是一名职业自由式滑雪运动员，双头翘滑雪板、22英尺高的U型池和转体两周的动作就是我肾上腺素的主要来源，那是极限运动真正令人着迷的内核。

Like all bewitching（迷人的） lovers (at least the ones in the novels I read, for lack of real-world experience), this significant other can be … mercurial（多变的）.

就像所有让人迷恋的情人一样（由于缺乏现实经验，至少是我在小说里读到的那种），这个重要的另一半可能是……善变的。

“Fear” is really an umbrella term（涵盖性术语） for three distinct sensations: excitement, uncertainty, and pressure. I’ve learned that the nuanced（有细微差别的） indicators of each of these feelings can be instrumental（起重要作用的） to success when recognized and positively leveraged（利用）, and harbingers （预兆）of injury when ignored.

“恐惧”实际上概括了三种不同的感官体验：兴奋、不确定性和压力。我已经明白，如果意识到并积极利用这每一种感官中的微妙指示，会对成功有帮助；如果忽视它们，往往就是受伤的先兆。

Though it’s easy to label extreme sport athletes as fearless or capricious（任性的）, the countless hours I’ve spent visualizing tricks and practicing them in foam pits (foam. particles. everywhere) and on airbags (think giant Slip ’N Slide) suggest otherwise.

虽然极限运动员很容易被贴上无畏或任性的标签，但无论是我为构思空中技巧而花费的无数个小时，还是在泡沫池(到处都是泡沫颗粒)和安全气囊（有着巨大的滑梯）的动作练习，都可以表明情况并非如此。

It’s biologically counterintuitive（反常的） for us to place ourselves in positions of risk, and while we make every effort to （尽一切努力）physically prepare, no amount of metaphorically （含有隐喻地）safety-netted practice can equate to the unforgiving snow slope that rushes up to meet us after a steep kicker launches us into the air.

我们需要违反生物直觉将自己置于风险之中。尽管我们会尽一切努力做好身体上的准备，但再多的安全网模拟训练也无法等同于我们从斜坡上腾空跃起、将身体抛到空中，在落地时迎接我们的雪坡并不会讲情面。

Instead of（英语二也经常考） ignoring fear, we build unique relationships with it by developing a profound sense of self-awareness and making deliberate risk assessments.

我们不是无视恐惧，而是要通过培养深刻的自我意识和深思熟虑的风险评估，以便与恐惧建立起一种独特的关系。

The work begins with visualization. Before I attempt a new trick, I feel a tightening high in my chest, between the base of my throat and the top of my diaphragm.

这一过程首先从“具象化”开始。在我尝试新的技巧动作之前，通常会感到胸腔（在我的喉咙底部和横膈膜顶部之间）传来一阵紧张感。

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. As I ascend（上升） the gargantuan（巨大的） takeoff ramp, I imagine extending my legs to maximize lift. Then I picture twisting my upper body in the opposite direction I intend to spin, generating torque before I allow it to snap back the other way.

每当这时，我会深吸一口气，闭上眼睛。当我冲上巨大的起飞坡道时，我想象着伸展双腿以最大限度地提高升力。紧接着，我在脑海中描绘以相反的方向扭转上半身，产生扭矩，然后再让它朝另一个方向弹回来。

Now, in my mind, I’m airborne（空运的）. I see the backside of the takeoff immediately, then my flip draws my vision to the cloudless sky above me.

此刻，在我的脑海里，我已经飞跃在空中。我在跃起后立即就会看到自己的背后，然后身体的翻转会将我的视线引到头顶上万里无云的天空。

My ears register the wind as a kind of song, every 360-degree rotation providing the beat to the music of my motion.

我的耳朵将风声当作一种音乐，每一次360度的旋转都在为我的动作充当音乐节拍。

As my feet come under me halfway through, I spot the landing for the briefest of moments before I pull my body into the second flip.

当我的脚落回到身下时，我在将身体拉到第二个空翻前的一瞬间发现最终着陆的地点。

I imagine my legs swinging under me as I return to a forward-facing position and meet the ground with my weight in the front of my boots. 1440 degrees. I smile. Then I open my eyes.

当我回到面向前方的位置时，我想象着我的双腿在身下摆动，并让雪靴的前端承载着我的重量触碰地面。这就完成了1440度的翻转，我会微笑着睁开双眼。

In the split second following my visualization, the knot in my chest flutters and spreads — those famous butterflies reaching their final stage of metamorphosis.

在完成“具象化”的几秒之后，我胸腔中的紧张感跳动着，然后开始蔓延，此时已经到了破茧成蝶的关键阶段。

Excitement, the child of adrenaline（肾上腺素）, my true love and addiction. That tantalizingly precarious balance between confidence in my ability to execute（成功的完成） the trick safely and excitement for the unpredictable experience to come.

兴奋感是肾上腺素的产物，也是令我真爱、上瘾的存在。我不仅对自己安全完成技巧动作抱有信心，也对即将到来的不可预知体验充满兴奋感，这二者组成的天平非常不稳定。

I’ve heard this state called “the zone,” which is indeed where I was when I became the first female skier in history to land the double cork 1440 last fall.

我听说这种状态被称为“入境”，去年秋季，当我成为历史上第一个完成1440度偏轴转体动作的女性双板滑雪运动员时，我就曾体会过这样的状态。

It doesn’t take much, unfortunately, for uncertainty to override confidence. Imperfect preparation moistens my palms, pushes that tight spot down into my stomach and makes each breath shallower than the last.

不幸的是，再少的不确定感都能轻易地压倒自信心。准备得不够完美便会让我手心出汗，之前的紧张感也会涌到胃里，让每次呼吸都比上一次更浅。

The feeling isn’t panic, but something like dread. Danger! cries every evolutionary instinct. If I should choose to look past this safety mechanism, my body may act autonomously in the air, twisting out of the rotation and forcing me to brace for impact out of fear that full commitment to the trick may end in disaster.

这种感觉并不是恐慌，而是一种类似于畏惧的感觉。每一种进化的本能都在警告危险的到来，如果选择忽略这个安全机制，那么身体可能会在空中不由自主地行动，旋转也会失去控制，并迫使我为即将遭受的冲击力做好准备，因为在这个时候，我畏惧全身心地投入技巧动作可能会以灾难性的后果告终。

Every freeskier’s goal is to recognize the minute differences between excitement and uncertainty in order to maximize performance while minimizing the risk of injury.

每个自由式滑雪运动员都要试图做到识别出兴奋感和不确定感之间的细微差别，以便在最大限度地发挥自身能力的同时，将受伤的风险减少到最低。

Finally, there’s pressure, an energy source that can be wielded（运用） in many ways. One’s experience of pressure — by far the most subjective facet of “fear” — is affected by personal experiences and perspectives.

最后，压力也是一种可以被广泛利用的能量来源。作为上述“恐惧”中最主观的一面，对压力的体验可能会受到个人经历和观点的影响。

Expectations of family and friends, a competitive streak, or even sponsorship opportunities can provide the scaffolding（高架） for a high-pressure environment.

家人和朋友的期望，竞争倾向，甚至是获得赞助的机会，都可能搭建起一个高压的外在环境。

Pressure can be a positive force for competitors who leverage（利用） it to rise to the occasion, but it can also single-handedly （单独的）dictate （决定性）competitive failure.

对于那些利用压力来迎接挑战的竞争者来说，压力可以是一种积极的力量。但是，压力也可能成为竞争失败的决定性因素。

But whether athletes alleviate or compound their innate desire to “prove themselves” depends largely on confidence.

不过对运动员来说，要选择压制还是强化这种渴望“证明自己”的感觉，在很大程度上取决于他们的自信心。

As I enter my early adulthood, I’m proud of the work I’ve done to cope with pressure by bolstering my self-esteem and minimizing my need for external validation. 

对此，正处于成年初期的我感到有些自豪，我通过增强自尊和尽量减少对外界认可的需求来应对压力。

I focus on gratitude, perspective, and on the joy this sport brings me, regardless of whether I’m alone or in front of a worldwide TV audience. 

无论是孤身一人，还是面向全世界的场下观众，我都注重感恩的心、专注于自我的判断，并去享受这项运动带给我的快乐。

Though my views of myself and the world are constantly evolving, one thing is for certain: no matter how much time passes, I’ll always be a hopeless romantic when it comes to fear.（这句真好）

随着时间的推移，尽管我对自己和世界的看法在不断变化，但有一件事是不变的：在恐惧面前，我永远都会是一个无可救药的浪漫主义者。